And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell

Look at the picture. Look closely, I think you’ll need about 10 seconds to see it. Just try. :)
THANKYOU VERY MUCH
I JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK
NO
BUT
I DIDN’T BLINK
I DIDN’T BLINK
AL;SDKJOEJAO SDKJOWIEJF ALSKDJV EOIFJALKDSJ OFAL STOP
FUCK SWEET FUCKIGNG HELL NO
(Source: not-a-tardis)
If sherlock went to hogwarts
Omg I just literally lost my shit xD

Benedict Cumberbatch as a baby. Even as a child, you still ruin lives Good Sir.
I have this problem where I would much rather read the story I’m trying to write than actually write it.
i’ve been looking for this post my entire life
Exactly.

Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe?
Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity.
Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens.
Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL
OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY
DICKENS SAID POE WAS A TORTURED SOUL AND I SAID DICKENS WAS RIGHT THEN DICKINSON CHANGED IT TO DICKINSON AND THEY JUST KEPT GOING BACK AND FORTH
THIS IS GREAT
I’m copypasting my porn into this and it’s FUCKING HILARIOUS
i said “What the Dickens?” and emily and charles just kept fighting over it between that and “What the Dickinson?” until charles changed it to “What the Oliver Twist?”
GUESS WHAT FUCKING DAY IT IS!
…
Thanks, Dean
in mystery spot when dean died 100 times, what if each time death was the one who took him. what if they had a little bonding session every time he died and got closer but then dean forgot everything when gabriel set things right. what if that’s why death has a soft spot for dean because they were once bffs

but guys
the kitchen is a kitchen
with a toaster
and some pots and pants
and food in the cabinets
notice the lack of beakers and syringes and microscopes and bottles of chemicals
no
This broke my heart
THIS IS THE ONLY WOMAN WHO CAN STAND NEXT TO BEYONCE AND STILL BE THE MOST FABULOUS PERSON IN THE ROOM
(Source: lizlemonism)
